ami's journal

this is mostly a rant post/life update for those curious

unsurprisingly, living in a household where there isn't constant shouting and anger has done wonders for my health. living in cali is pretty cool, communal living with people who are sane is also pretty cool. i'm struggling a lot with money and had to unenroll from classes, but i wouldn't dare trade my mental health for financial security. not right now, anyway

i've had really bad acid reflux problems for at least a year or so now. like gerd-adjacent shit. it would happen intermittedly no matter what i ate or drank, sometimes just happening out of nowhere for seemingly no reason. we picked up some omeprazole (off-brand prilosec) from costco one day and i've been taking that and i get literally no heartburn anymore. medicine is so awesome. so is actually getting attention to the various health problems i started developing in my 20's. serenna wants to take me to the eye doctor because i squint at screens and have for as long as i can remember

oh yeah speaking of medicine serenna has been giving me some of her adderall. it is like the forbidden fruit to me. ambrosia to me. like coming home to a warm dinner plate. we both need it BADLY but i try to not take too much out of her supply. zane also got put on adderall (baby dose) so that's fun. we should start cooking meth in the kitchen

i didn't actually know about ebt at all before i came here but i need to sign up for that shit asap. being able to pay for groceries again would be a dream. i also need to look into transferring my credits to a college here. my mom always said i should get a degree and not transfer because they can take my credits away, but not my degree. that's a good ethos to have but i've spent five years getting a two-years associate's degree and it's looking like it's gonna take an additional two years so i'm thinking it might just be better to cut my losses and start working towards a degree i actually give a shit about

serenna likes to work on projects in her tiny-ass room. she's been working on an amplifier recently and sometimes i'll go in her room and smell fumes and smoke. she'll stay there for an hour and i'll walk in and be like "you good?" and she'll say "hold on i have to wash my hands from the lead i've been handling". that's kind of scary i think. but the garage is dark as hell and sucks. and mosquitoes come in when you open the door. is mosquitoes coming out in late february normal for california??? back home you wouldn't have to worry about that until june

i've spent a lot less time online because i'm usually actively doing something in the house. i'm out of my room for the large majority of the day, the complete opposite of how i was at home. we've been using the tv to watch stuff. we watched some of tropical rouge precure during the first week, and more recently we've been watching lupin the third part 1 and kaitou joker. nathan has also been supervising our watching of better call saul. that show is kind of insane. he's not even called saul yet. and of course, i've forced her to watch kamizmode for the first time with me while i rewatch for errors for the batch release

zane (guy whose car we've been using) isn't coming with us when we move, so that means serenna needs to work on getting her drivers license. i have forgotten 100% of the shit i learned in drivers ed as a teen. she has the material and seems to be doing well, but i need to remember to get on her ass about studying and doing practice tests. i learned that in california you don't need to have a certain amount of hours driven to apply for a proper license which is something you HAVE to do back in virginia. that might contribute to why a good portion of the cars i see on the road here drive like headless chickens

i want to sit down and watch things with my friends online again but i feel like spending a shitton of time in my room is such a waste!!! even though no one in the house would blame me for it; it's something zane does. i just feel bad leaving serenna alone i guess. if i'm not mistaken she was also mostly a wallflower in her room before i came over, like my existence made her more social. that makes me happy and her existence makes me social too but i need to learn how to balance it. we are both shut-ins by nature after all

i got a shitton of stickers from the joann's (rip) when serenna took me and nathan there to get fabric and i want to put them everywhere. i want to put a little flower sticker on the door to my room but the landlord won't like that. i would have to remove it and even if i left it there she would just do it. and it would come out of my security deposit. for a sticker. it's ridiculous

as a final note i've been really attached to this tumblr post. i have it pinned on my blog. i really enjoy it. please give it a look